(T)arina and (A)tkins in Chicago

On Friday May 7th, 10 days after our Pickle was due, I had an appointment with my midwife. She checked my cervix and found that there was no dilation. On the way home, I kept feeling cramping sensations. I got home and started timing them. By that afternoon, I was convinced that I was in labor.
We called our doula and she came over to help us through these early stages. Friday night did not bring much sleep. I had contractions every couple of minutes and Atkins was up with me for each one. I was able to sleep in between the contractions, though, and by Saturday morning they had gotten much stronger. The doula and I decided that it was time to go to the hospital and so off we went! The car ride was not exactly fun, but we made it there.
When we got to the hospital, labor had really progressed. It was difficult to answer all the questions that people kept asking me. I was in a pseudo-trance for a lot of the time. Luckily I had Atkins, who helped me though the difficult times.

Our birth plan involved keeping things as natural as possible and I was looking forward to laboring in the tub. Unfortunately, once we made it up to the delivery room, the fetal monitor showed that Pickle’s heart rate was dipping at certain times. Since things were not 100% normal, I was unable to use the tub. The midwife decided to break my bag of water and speed things along. Once that happened, they noticed meconium, meaning the baby had pooped in the amniotic fluid. This can cause problems, obviously. Once the water was broken, my contractions got a lot more painful. That was when I decided to go for the epidural. Our entire birth plan was shot, and I was in quite a bit of pain. They put the epidural in and it was like a whole new world! My pain was basically gone. Each contraction brought a much less painful sensation. Unfortunately, Pickle’s heart rate was dropping after each contraction, so the doctor decided it was time to go for a c-section. After about 24 hours of labor, I was dilated to 7.5 cm, and was going in for surgery. I had prepared myself a bit mentally for the possibility of a cesarean but I was still scared when they rolled me into the operating room. It was a good thing I had gotten the epidural, otherwise I would have been put under general anesthesia.

Once we were in the operating room, the doctor delivered Pickle in a very short amount of time. Atkins was able to peek over the surgical drape, and he was the one to announce that we had a little girl. Since she had meconium in the fluid, she was taken immediately by the neonatal specialists and I never even heard her cry. While I was being sutured, we discussed names. Kind-of surreal, really. Our midwife came back and forth from the room where our new little girl was being assessed and told us that she was absolutely beautiful. She also mentioned that she had really long feet, which made us laugh.

The first time I was able to see my beautiful daughter was as we were both being wheeled out of our respective rooms. I was on my gurney and she was in her incubator. She had wide-open eyes and the cutest little pouty mouth. The doctors were worried about her respiration so she was to stay a while in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) so they could monitor her breathing. She was breathing well on her own but with a little increased effort.

Sometime during Saturday night, our little girl had a seizure. The staff saw her right arm moving in an erratic manner. They gave her an anti-seizure medication and ordered several tests, the first of which was a CAT scan. The doctors told us that they were concerned that our tiny girl had a stroke in utero. When the CAT scan came back normal, they ordered more tests, including an MRI and an EEG. EEGs monitor brain waves and are measured using electrical leads at various points on the head. The EEG picked up some abnormal brain waves. Also during her time in the NICU, her heart rate was being observed and became concerning because it was getting very low. So, more tests were ordered, including a 12-lead ECG, an echocardiogram and a Holter monitor.

Everything came back normal. The seizure activity stopped. While we were waiting on all the tests, they were running pathology on my placenta (which they didn’t even tell me they were doing, but I’m glad to know they did) and they found some evidence of inflammation on the baby side. I had never had so much as a cold during my pregnancy, so this inflammation remains a bit of a mystery. They were concerned about infection, however, so they decided to keep her on IV antibiotics for 7 full days.

The cardiologist diagnosed her with sinus bradycardia, which means that her heart rate is a normal rhythm, just slow. When she was in deep sleep it would dip down into the 60s. (It’s funny, though, because as I was in labor, my heart rate was about 52. Everyone kept asking if I were athletic and if that heart rate was normal for me. I always laughed when they asked if I were athletic, as would anyone who knew me. haha.) Though as the time progressed, her heart rate did not get below the low 80s. As for the seizures, the neurologist thinks it may just have been due to her traumatic birth. As for the traumatic birth, well, we don’t really know what caused that.

During this time, Atkins and I had to decide what to name our new little daughter. Of course, we had decided on a boy name, but hadn’t quite pinned down the girl’s name yet. We had two choices that we liked. Liora stood out to both of us. I liked the way it sounded, especially with Meyer as the last name, and the meaning “light” also struck me as fitting. Wren was a name that I always liked, and I found out that Atkins liked it a lot too. So, we started saying it, never really fully committing until the birth certificate representative came in. We decided to make it official and Liora Wren Meyer was transcribed into the ages.

It’s funny now, looking back on 41 and 4/7 weeks of calling her Pickle. We joked that she would be called Pickle for the rest of her life but as soon as we saw her, even before we had named her, we realized that she wasn’t Pickle anymore. Pickle was a mystery, a living entity in my body that we could never really see. This is Liora, our daughter, a small person in her own right and no longer an unknown.

Now we get to spend the rest of our lives getting to know Liora: her preferences, her likes and dislikes. Will she be girly? A tomboy? Will she like dolls or stuffed animals? Will she be a Daddy’s girl? The questions are endless.

Whatever she decides to be, she will be our little Liora, the light of our lives. And we are happy to finally have her home with us, where she belongs.